A new low for CNN

'Someone's swiping toilet paper', screams the CNN.com headline in the 'Latest News' section today. Even at first glance, this looks trashier than the lowest form of journalism one can imagine. Having a few minutes to kill in the torpor of a muggy afternoon, my computer mouse willingly swallowed the cheesy bait. After all, I needed something to write about :-) So here is the piece in all its nine-sentence glory. Even the authorities do not care all that much. However, CNN does, so all is well with the world. I can take that nap now.

FOND DU LAC, Wisconsin (AP) -- Someone is either too cheap to buy his own toilet paper or planning a big prank.

Fond du Lac County Executive Allen Buechel said someone has been repeatedly stealing toilet paper from the men's public bathrooms at the Fond du Lac City County Government Center since June.

Buechel suspects the person comes in once or twice a week around midday and gets about six rolls a week from dispensers. Some rolls weren't even full, he said.

The thefts haven't been a big loss.

"We don't buy the best toilet paper," Buechel said.

He expects the thief to get caught. "Someone is going to walk in on him when he's doing it and we'll catch him," he said.

Courthouse officials are on the lookout for suspicious activity.

County sheriff Capt. Dean Will didn't return a call for comment Friday.

Six sixes

Indian cricketer Yuvraj Singh recently thrashed England's Stuart Broad for six huge sixes in a single over. This got me thinking about the three previous such instances.

Perhaps the most famous is the effort by Sir Gary Sobers of West Indies in an English county game in 1968. While almost everyone knows about this episode, few are aware of the circumstances. I fell in this category as well, so I did some digging. Taking nothing away from Sobers, the fact remains that (a) the bowler was Malcolm Nash, a fast-bowler who was experimenting with spin that day, (b) the ground was rather small, and (c) Sobers hit everything to the leg side.

Ravi Shastri of India then replicated the feat in a Ranji domestic game in 1985, hitting the Baroda left-arm spinner Tilak Raj out of the park six consecutive times.

Herschelle Gibbs of South Africa thrashed the hapless Daan van Bunge of the Netherlands during the recent 2007 World Cup. Clueless opposition, and a batsman well-known for the big hitting.

Yuvraj's feat, however, came against a decent team and an international fast bowler with some experience. He also hit the ball all over the park, on both sides of the wicket. Just a few thoughts to keep the mind occupied...

Hard-working CNN

I salute CNN and its reporters for working hard to bring me the latest top stories in the country. Sometimes, these stories are even tops on the world stage. This day, in honor of CNN, I will present the leading headlines of global importance, as they are put up on the website:

1. Air guitarists battle for glory
2. Laura Bush to undergo neck surgery
3. Expert analyzes bin Laden's body language
4. Hilton fumes over 'hot' cards (more Paris Hilton nonsense)
5. Chihuahua adopts baby squirrels
6. 'Brokeback', "Office' stars entering splitsville (America's love affair with celebrity divorces)

Where would I be if I remained unaware of these earth-shaking developments? Kudos to CNN for putting them above the real issues plaguing this world.

Kathmandu, anyone?

Bring a couple of goats along. Just for luck. Or just in case!

[From BBC News]

Goats sacrificed to fix Nepal jet

Nepal's state-run airline has confirmed that it sacrificed two goats to appease a Hindu god, following technical problems with one of its aircraft.

Nepal Airlines said the animals were slaughtered in front of the plane - a Boeing 757 - at Kathmandu airport.

The offering was made to Akash Bhairab, the Hindu god of sky protection, whose symbol is seen on the company's planes.

The airline said that after Sunday's ceremony the plane successfully completed a flight to Hong Kong.

"The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights," senior airline official Raju KC was quoted as saying by Reuters.

Nepal Airlines has two Boeing aircraft in its fleet.

The persistent faults with one of the planes had led to the postponement of a number of flights in recent weeks.

The company has not said what the problem was, but reports in local media have blamed an electrical fault.

Courting fashion (part 2)

So, here I was, complaining about the Williams sisters not giving credit to their opponents (see previous post, Courting fashion). Even as I was typing, Serena's lips were moving:

From Williams’s perspective, she beat herself. “I think she made a lot of lucky shots and I made a lot of errors,” Williams, the eighth seed, said sourly during her postmatch news conference. [New York Times]

I saw the match in its entirety. The truth is that Serena was almost never in control during the encounter. In fact, Justine was serving for the first set when the score was just 5-3, and the match could have been a lot shorter if she could have held serve. The second set, in which Serena was blown away at 6-1, showed just how much Serena lacks on the court: muscle cannot always overcome consistent strategy and execution.

But yes, the world is indeed a simple place. At least, it makes it easy to predict the Williams' press conferences.

Courting fashion

There was a time, not too long ago, when the ladies tennis circuit was populated by graceful players. And then, in the blink of an eye, the scene was quickly altered so that the court became some sort of fashion parade. Gone are the days of pure white; today, many players seem to employ stylists rather than coaches to prep them for their games. One of them, this year's defending champion at the US Open, inserts real gold into her shoes (I am told)! The glitter couldn't save her though, as she was handed an early exit ticket.

Last night at the US Open was quite a study in contrasts. Justine Henin, thin as a rail, dressed in relatively sober attire. Her opponent, Serena Williams, sported elaborate hair plaits, shoulder-length glitter swinging from her ears, and a long chain to match. The focus of one was solely on the tennis. The other seemed to go to pieces in the span of just a few games, trying to muscle her way out against a player who had a lot more than just power. Thankfully, the tennis won out, and Serena now has all the time in the world to devote to her new fashion apparel label.

When the Williams sisters arrived on the scene, they just blew the rest away with their focus on raw power. Games were unbelievably short (and perhaps a tad ugly, even). But the field seems to have adjusted beautifully to match that power. Grace and strategy to the fore again! And no more sobbing Mr. Williams, scared of attending a Grand Slam lest he has to see one of his daughters lose to the other. The Williams sisters, of course, never learn. They continue to be sore losers, always crediting their own injuries/fitness/errors rather than a superior opponent.

But for now, all seems to be well. Let the games continue!

Tennis 101: think baseball!

I am appalled by the television commentary at the on-going US Open championship. And I am thinking 'tennis', not 'golf'! The commentators are so used to baseball that they are routinely running with terms borrowed from that 'sport'.

In slightly over a single set between Roddick and Berdych, my
ears were subjected to the following gems:

1. Scouting reports
2. Change-ups
3. Checked swing
4. He is oh-for-two out there

The glut of baseball-speak would doubtless have continued, but for Berdych giving up and retiring quickly in the second set. A small mercy! Maybe he heard the TV feed and gave up in disgust.

Yo ho ho and a bottle of... tea?

Here is a hilarious narrative of the most feared female pirate... and she was Chinese!

[source: www.cnn.com]

Most successful pirate was beautiful and tough

By Maggie Koerth

You can keep your Bluebeards and your Blackbeards. The most successful pirate of all time controlled a fleet of more than 1,500 ships and upwards of 80,000 sailors -- and she did it all without the help of facial hair.

When a Chinese pirate captain named Cheng married a beautiful prostitute in 1801, he wasn't just getting the girl of his dreams; he was making the best financial investment of his career. His new bride, known to history as Cheng I Sao, or "Wife of Cheng," agreed to the marriage on one condition -- that she would share equally in his power and would be given the opportunity to help him secure more wealth.

Sounded like a deal to Cheng, and for the next six years, the husband and wife teamed up to grow their piracy business along the coast of the South China Sea, as far south as Malaysia. But then, in 1807, Cheng passed away. Instead of stepping aside like a "proper" widow, Cheng I Sao promptly took the reins.

Thinking outside the treasure box

Although clearly ahead of her time, Cheng I Sao was shrewd enough to realize that the pirate masses weren't likely as enlightened. So, her first act as leader was to make her husband's second-in-command, Chang Pao, official captain of the fleet.

While Chang Pao led the men into battle, Cheng I Sao focused her attention on business, military strategy, and the enormous task of governing a growing body of ruffians. In the years following her husband's death, she steadily brought more and more outlaws under the banner of her Red Flag Fleet.

In fact, Cheng I Sao was eventually responsible for nearly all the piracy in the region and her fleet exceeded the size of many countries' navies. She also expanded the scope of the business, branching out from simple attack-and-pillage jobs to protection schemes, blackmail, and extortion. Cheng I Sao's reach also extended to the mainland, where she set up an extensive spy network and developed economic ties with farmers who would supply her men with food.
If Cheng I Sao's business practices were exemplary, then her system of pirate law was nothing short of revolutionary. The code of conduct she wrote for her men prescribed much harsher punishments than previous pirate laws had. A disobeyed order was cause for beheading (as was stealing from the common plunder), and deserters stood to lose their ears.

Ironically, Cheng I Sao's most famous laws applied to the taking of female prisoners. Ugly women were returned to shore, free of charge. Attractive captives were auctioned off to the crew, unless a pirate personally purchased the captive, in which case they were considered married. Of course, if that pirate cheated on his new bride, Cheng I Sao had him killed.

The not-so-bitter end

Murder, thievery, and intricate crime syndicates will eventually garner the full attention of the law, and Cheng I Sao certainly had the authorities on her tail. But, here again, she proved more successful than her male counterparts.

Cheng I Sao repelled attack after attack by both the Chinese navy and the many Portuguese and British bounty hunters brought in to help capture her. Then, in 1810, the Chinese government tried a different tactic -- they offered her universal pirate amnesty in exchange for peace.

Cheng I Sao jumped at the opportunity and headed for the negotiating table. There, the pirate queen arranged what was, all told, a killer deal. Fewer than 400 of her men received any punishment, and a mere 126 were executed. The remaining pirates got to keep their booty and were offered military jobs.

As for Cheng I Sao, she retired with her loot and her new husband (former righthand man, Chang Pao) and opened a gambling house. She died peacefully in 1844, a 69-year-old grandmother.

Shave that for last

As I made my customary way along Interstate 90 today, I was startled to see the guy in the next lane weave about a bit. His car, a white convertible with a retracted roof. I got jittery, and slowed down to see what his next move would be.

He swerved once more, left tires encroaching upon my temporary territory, before correcting his course. I seized my chance and zoomed ahead. I wanted to be as far away as possible when he made his next foray into a faster traffic stream.

As I passed him, I glanced to the right to try and make eye contact, to give him a hard stare. But the veteran wouldn't bite. He was busy looking . . . skywards! And his head was rotating around as if he was . . . shaving! In fact, he had one hand on his steering wheel while the other was operating an electric razor, all at about 60 mph!

I briefly wondered if his razor was cordless, or had to be plugged into his car's electrical outlet. And then, as speedily as it all happened, he blew out of my thoughts.

Until now.

Losing sight of the ball

The recent introduction of Hawk-Eye technology to tennis Grand Slam tournaments demonstrates the short-sightedness of the game's governing officials. Hawk-Eye predicts the trajectory of the tennis ball after recording its position periodically during flight. While the technology was intended to assist in resolving border-line calls (if challenged by the players), its "last-word" interpretation and has been decidedly shoddy.

The recent Wimbledon final, a fierce battle between Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal, illustrated the frailties of Hawk-Eye together with the clearly
unscientific rules on interpreting the results. To me, the ball is out if it hits the ground outside the painted line. However, the chair umpire repeatedly declared the ball in when the edge of the ball (as determined by Hawk-Eye) was only a whisker within the outer edge of the line! Even when 99.99% or more of the ball was well outside the line. Consequently, the point of impact was outside, yet the shot was called "in".

This is quite ridiculous. In each of these instances, the linesman made the right call. Even at real-time speeds, without the aid of cameras and replays, the on-court staff were immediately able to identify the ball as out. And they were absolutely right. Each time, the chair umpire over-ruled, once even agreeing that he would have called "out" after seeing the Hawk-Eye prediction! Yet, he had to go with the "rule" and overturn the linesman.

Worse, the rule ignores Hawk-Eye's margin of error. The company claims that the technology is accurate to within about 3.5 mm. If this is taken into account, then a ball that is shown to be just out can actually have touched the line by a few hair-widths! Similarly, the "out" calls at Wimbledon could have been well out instead of barely being "in". The verdict, for me, is clear: the focus should be the center of the ball (or a small region about the center). The current rule makes no sense, and Federer was justifiably miffed as call after call went cruelly against him.

Granted, Hawk-Eye provides insights that were not available before. But the officials need a big lesson in rational thinking.

Handling telemarketers

Telemarketers are getting more annoying, refusing to take "no" as your final answer. I am currently being hounded repeatedly by a finance company whose credit card I canceled. Instead of respecting and accepting my decision, they call at least once a week with pressure tactics to try and get me to re-activate my account. If you try to be nice, you waste several minutes on the phone. The only solution, it seems, is to rudely cut off the caller.

One effective option is to say that the person of interest is not currently at home. Do they have a message you could take? The guaranteed response: This is just a courtesy call, and they will try again later. Ask them which organization they represent, and see them squirm and wriggle as they look for a way to hide this info!

My most recent encounter was actually partially funny. The caller asked to speak to "Rachaman Balakardishna", a highly mangled version of my own name. I grabbed the quick-escape lifeline and declared that a person by that name did not live at our residence! The caller's interest flagged immediately, and I minimized my lost time.

The bookie's bane

[From Cnn.com]

Irish bookie pays out as cops bust 'wrong' Gore

DUBLIN, Ireland (Reuters) -- An Irish bookmaker who offered 14-to-1 odds that Al Gore would be the next high-profile American to be arrested paid out on Friday after police detained the former vice president's son, also named Al.

Al Gore III appears with his parents, Al and Tipper Gore.

Having not specified which Al bettors could back, Paddy Power said some of the 50 or so people who placed money on the rank outsider being arrested had been quick to claim their winnings.

"We got a good stoning thanks to the vice president's son," the company said in a statement.

The "bizarre coincidence" would cost it more than $13,600.

Al Gore III, 24, was stopped for speeding on Wednesday and arrested for drug possession after a sheriff's deputy smelled marijuana and searched his car.

Paddy Power, which is well known in Ireland for wacky publicity stunts and for offering bizarre and sometimes controversial bets, offered odds on July 3 that had made Paris Hilton the 2-to-1 favorite to be arrested.

It had ranked President Bush and Bill Gates among the outsiders on odds of 33-to-1 and 50-to-1 respectively.

Air travel blues

Think twice (and a few times more after that) before transiting through Ireland. I recently made an international connection on Aer Lingus through Dublin, en-route to the UK. For the first time in nearly eight years, I experienced international transit passengers being put through immigration and customs checks at the transit airport. Apparently, this was done because we were at the port of entry into the European Union. Then, we were made to exit the terminal area and join a queue for security check. Problem was, every passenger entering the airport at Dublin was also in the same queue! There was no quick side-screening for transit passengers.

The flight to Dublin was late by about 15 minutes, cutting my scheduled 1-hour connection to less than 45 minutes. The queues were long and essentially static. Jumping the immigration queue did not help, and I missed the flight to the UK. They apparently held the flight for as long as they could (yet it seemingly departed on time, so what was the big courtesy they expended towards me?) I missed a huge chunk of the meeting I was traveling to, since Aer Lingus would only put me on their next flight seven hours later. Compensation? A 5-Euro voucher for breakfast, when my stomach was already churning from the transit ordeal.

I do not question the procedures. They are what they are. But the airline should be aware of them, and account for such expected delays while scheduling their itineraries. It is not as if they were doing me a favor flying me to the UK and back. They got more than 1500 good reasons to do so. Customer service and accountability seem to be unheard of nowadays. Not even money can buy them!

More drama on the way back. The Dublin-Boston flight halted at Shannon in Ireland, just half an hour after take-off. The flight attendants had to confer before confirming that everybody had to get out with their bags. We went through US immigration right there in Ireland! I got my I-94 card stamped here. This was followed by a mad rush to re-board the plane, with the Shannon-Boston crowd getting priority! The plane then stayed at the gate while they located and removed the checked bags of two potential travelers who were denied the right to be on the flight. A harrowing and financially wasteful trip, to say the least.

And a funny incident at Boston's Logan Airport the very next weekend, on my way to San Francisco. The guy ahead of me had a tough time keeping the security scanner quiet. Beep! Beep! He was repeatedly asked if he had anything metallic on his person, which he stoutly denied. Beep! Beep! When the officer finally forced him to check his pockets, out came a quite large spoon from the back pocket of his pants! Was he expecting an ice cream sundae on his flight?!

Adding spice (ahem... juice) to pro baseball

Self-righteousness from Jason Giambi. Having already admitted to juicing himself up with steroids, the pro baseball player with the New York Yankees now decides to lay the blame elsewhere.

''What we should have done a long time ago was stand up -- players, ownership, everybody -- and said: 'We made a mistake.'

Players, yes. Obviously. The team owners, yes again. They openly support drug users and pay them grand salaries for cheating. But everybody? Granted, even Major League Baseball (MLB) played a role by not being strict about punishing the use of performance enhancing drugs. Then again, the players (through their union) are not very amenable to rigorous testing and stringent bans. The MLB has to negotiate with the union about test frequencies and punishment levels! Ever hear something similar about the Olympics?!

Giambi's agent made sure his contract with the Yankees had an interesting proviso: that he cannot be dropped even if he tested positive for drugs! If this isn't a statement of guilt, I'm the cliched monkey's uncle.

This is a great gambit by Giambi:

1. admit to steroid use in the past,
   
2. claim that it did not help him hit home runs (question: why use the stuff if it does not help you?!),
   
3. then continue to juice up and biff more home runs.
   

It is hilarious to see the likes of Giambi go hitless for extended periods of time just after another player (like Rafael Palmeiro) gets busted in a drugs test. The hitting prowess disgustingly and miraculously returns overnight, once the storm has passed from the media light.

Why not lay the blame squarely where it should be parked? The players who routinely cheat by using illegal substances to boost performance.

Only in America...

On April 28, Josh Hancock, a pitcher for the St. Luis Cardinals professional baseball team, died in an auto accident. He plowed into the back of a tow truck that was helping a stalled motorist, and died almost immediately. He was found to be very drunk, had marijuana in his car, was talking on his cell phone, speeding, and not wearing a seat belt.

Tragic accident. But five bad judgment calls grossly diminished any chance of survival. To the sane mind, it is clear that Josh was responsible for this accident.

Until you hear his father's latest salvo. Granted, the personal loss is great. To levy a lawsuit against the bar that served the drinks is a bit much, though. You cannot win in this country. If the bartender had refused to serve the drinks, Josh himself would have sued for infringing on his freedom to drink to the end of the world.

To quote the lawyer masterminding this latest frivolous lawsuit:

"It's understood that for the entire 3 1/2 hours that Josh Hancock was there that he was handed drinks," Keith Kantack, a lawyer for Dean Hancock, said. "It's our understanding that from the moment Josh Hancock entered Mike Shannon's that night that he was never without a drink."

Basic question: why do people frequent bars, if not to drink? Why stay there for 3.5 hours, if one had no intention of drinking away every minute of that time?

And it does not stop there. The lawsuit names the tow truck driver and his company as defendants! Apparently, 7 minutes (during which he was assisting the stalled vehicle) was "exorbitant" for clearing a vehicle off the roadway! Wow! Talk about high standards!

The madness actually continues: the stalled driver is also named as a defendant! The poor guy broke down on the highway, and is now being punished for somebody else's mistakes (in the plural).

It is time for some personal responsibility. But as they say, only in America...

A different kind of toll road

An aging elephant in the Indian state of Orissa is apparently imposing a toll on all passing motorists. The toll is in the form of food! People can drive past the elephant only if they roll down their window and exit the vehicle, allowing the pachyderm to sniff around inside for fruit and vegetables. Any such items found are gulped down, and the motorist waved through! Many drivers in the US adjust their trip departure times to beat out congestion. These Orissa drivers may have to tweak their schedules to match the elephant's meal times (at least if they want to ensure that their produce purchases make it onto their family's dining table!)

Here is a link to the full article.

Go Federer!

Roger Federer is quite unstoppable at the moment. He just won his 10th Grand Slam title, beating Chile's Fernando Gonzalez in straight sets after some rare tight spots in the opening set.

I am a huge Pete Sampras fan, and in my view, Federer has taken his game to even higher standards. The same grace and power. No ugly double-handed back-hands or grunts. Almost perfect all-round game, and an ice-cool exterior under any pressure.

Federer has three crucial qualities that nobody else seems to possess:

1. The ability to somehow return any serve.

2. The talent to know where the lines are and place the ball inches away from them without compromising on power.

3. A precise backhand overhead, that again catches the lines perfectly.

This guy is amazing! As one fan put it, "Federer is betterer." Couldn't have put it err... better! Ten Grand Slams now, and he should surely beat Sampras' 14 in two or three years. These two share the weakness on clay, though. If Federer can conquer that frontier, it will be the last piece of the puzzle.

The law of averages in Indian cricket

Sports reporters and commentators just love statistics. They probably like the certainty of numbers. A score of 100 is better than a score of 10. Black and white. No greys.

Of course, some sports are riddled with extreme statistics. Major Leage Baseball (MLB) in the US is a prime example. In no other sport have I come across the blatant abuse of statistics. Here is a an example, totally hypothetical, but highly representative of baseball commentary on television:

"The pitcher has a 0.25 ERA against switch-hitters batting left-handed at this particular ground during the month of July, when the temperature was so-and-so degrees and my mother baked her famous cookies."

What is the sample size on such an average? One? Two? Can we even call it a sample?!!

Back to cricket, the topic of this post. When people talk about strong teams such as Australia or South Africa, the law of averages is often thrown out as a desperate attempt at hope. Australia has been winning a lot of 5-day matches of late, so they are due for a loss. Ricky Ponting has scored enough runs for the year, so there is a good chance that he will fail soon. With the Indian team, the law of averages operates on a much shorter time frame: from day to day, within the same 5-day match!


How many times have we seen our team play extremely well on day 1, and then squander it all away the very next day? The current series against South Africa is a case in point. They won the first match comfortably, and were on an adrenaline high. They could so easily have drawn the next game and maintained their 1-0 lead, yet they decided to combust on the final couple of days and actually lost!

With the series at 1-1, and a fairly decent batting display on the first day of the third game, they lost 5 wickets for 19 runs so that a chance for a series win all but evaporated on day 2. And now, we fight day 3. But before we jump all over their backs, let us step back and think. It is not really the team's fault. It is just the law of averages at work.

A well-oiled (er... oil well) tax system

As gas-electric hybrid vehicles are increasingly embraced by a society getting sick of rising fuel costs and the US government's apathy towards the environment, oil companies and government agencies are already churning their murky minds to circumvent the resulting loss of revenues. More miles to the gallon means less fuel sold. The oil companies lose, unless hybrid owners start driving more than before. Improved fuel efficiency also implies less income from the gas tax. The government loses.

The likes of Exxon-Mobil and Shell can easily re-calibrate their bottom lines by jacking up fuel costs. This they have done (as expected): after several months of artificial price-setting kept the cost per gallon of regular gas under $2.20 in my neighborhood, the end of the Congressional elections has seen a nearly 27 cent increase in double-quick time. How predictable, on so many levels!

So what can the government do about declining gas tax incomes? Tennessee lawmakers are showing the way by proposing a road use tax. Instead of paying a per-gallon tax at the pump, you get to pay for the miles you drive! In a trial of this latest swindle, a fleet of cars will be equipped with GPS units that track your driving distance between gas station visits. The units will communicate with the gas pump, deduct the gas tax from your bill, and tack on the use tax instead. These law-makers, whose salaries probably allow them to keep driving gas-guzzling behemoths without a second thought, are finding ways to annul the technological advances generated by foreign auto makers!

Here is a potential traffic impact from such a bizarre taxation policy. Currently, people largely choose routes based on perceived travel times, delays and facility-specific tolls. Traffic thus gets spread across multiple road facilities based on many days of driving experience and trade-offs between monetary tolls and travel time savings. If the taxes begin to depend on distance, people could start targetting the shortest distance (and not the shortest time) options. Distance is a concrete measure: there are no grey areas related to individual perceptions, and it certainly does not change from day to day. Together with fuel cost increases from the oil industry, the road use tax could make traffic worse!

Or maybe it won't. But I am sure that the possible side effects have not even been considered by Tennessee's rich law-makers.

Drive safe: watch out for the lunatics!

I have been commuting to work for nearly six months now, and have seen enough to rant about Boston's drivers (at least those who drive around me as I stumble to work on the dreaded Mass Pike, I-90, every weekday).

There is at least one accident almost daily on the short 15-mile stretch of highway. One can only ascribe these routine collisions to careless and reckless driving way past the speed limit, too fast to be sustained by heavy weekday traffic levels. Besides the obvious risks of personal injury and vehicle damage, such driving is inconsiderate, to say the least. The smallest perturbations tend to throw I-90 into a downward spiral that can grind traffic to a standstill lasting hours. My 40-minute commute, for example, has often degenerated into a one to two hour drag.

One of my pet peeves (and I have many of these) is drivers who cannot stand seeing traffic move fractionally faster in another lane than theirs. They constantly weave left and right, as though they have a mandate to use all lanes equally. I see several such lunatics daily, cutting across lanes with impunity. They will often start crossing over to the next lane to take advantage of a 1-2 mph speed increase, only to find a slow-moving truck ahead in the target lane. Otherwise, the current lane might temporarily speed up a bit. The selfish driver then arrests her lane changing process mid-way (with two wheels in each lane) to return to the lane she just began evacuating. All of this, of course, will be executed without the use of turn indicators. Sometimes, these people will be half way to the next lane before their conscience directs them to blink their indicator for a fraction of a second, more like an afterthought!

I believe that such aggressive behavior is largely encouraged by the ridiculous blame system associated with fender-benders: the rear-ender is always at fault. Drivers therefore take their chances. They cut too close in front of others, knowing that the poor victim has all the incentive to watch out for this weirdo and slow down. Safe drivers are especially vulnerable, since the distance they maintain from the vehicle in front is enough invitation for aggressive types to cut in. Turn signals are used as rights of passage: "Hey! My indicator is on, so watch out!" In case of an accident, the cautious driver always loses. How convenient and safe!