The stuff of grateness

A real-world yard sign:

"Ban shredded cheese. Make America grate again."

The web has a more fool-proof version:

"Ban pre-shredded cheese. Make America grate again."

This Trumps everything!

And another Freecycle post

Such posts highlight just how difficult it is to get rid of junk these days. A humorous attitude is required in order to grab the discerning junk collector's attention and convince him/her to pick up your stuff for free. Read on!

OFFER: Vintage suitcase (coffee table? display prop?)

Interesting vintage suitcase with "R.E.G." on the side. It opens with an
angled edge, so it is especially funky. I had big dreams of adding some
little legs from Home Depot and calling it a coffee table, but never
did. The inside is in fine shape, with linen dividers. The outside
corners are pretty beat up, but it would still be very cook (sic) as a window
or living room display item or, yes, coffee table.
This goes to the person who can pick it up first.

A funny Freecycle post

The following free offering, via Freecycle, is quite an entertaining "sales" pitch:

OFFER: Round glass table top + custom wood moving crate

This is a 40" round, 1" thick (yes, that thick) piece of glass suitable
for a dining or coffee table. It is crated in a custom-sized wooden
moving crate, ready to go. I believe it is in perfect shape, without
dings or cracks, but since it's crated I'm not 100% sure.

Just imagine: stack up your art books, and put this glass on top. Or
use milk crates and actually read your books. Or serve dinner and
ensure that your dog can beg efficiently, meeting your eyes as you take
each bite.

This goes to the person who can pick it up first. Please bring a friend;
I think it's a pretty substantial piece.