A scam with a Middle Eastern twist

Usually, it is the widow of a late dictator from Nigeria or Togo. The poor woman is so hard-pressed to buy food, that she has to desperately find somebody (i.e. you) to help her siphon ill-gotten millions out of the country.

Yesterday, such a scam attempt arrived in my mailbox. This time, though, there was no desperate wife. Just a dying soldier who wanted salvation for his soul.

Read on and enjoy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello Buddy,

I hope my email meets you well. My name is Sgt .James Clayton jr. I am in the Engineering military unit here in Baghdad in Iraq , with Oesophageal cancer which has defiled all forms of medical treatment,and right now I have only about a few weeks/month to live, according to medical experts. My late 2 colleagues who died last week in a bomb blast and I found a huge sum of $6.500,000 Million USD in Baghdad neighbourhood (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2988455.stm) that we have successfully moved out of the country to INDIA via a diplomat .

I am contacting you because i want you to help with claiming of this Consignment and help me distribute them to charity organizations and homeless people.

I feel distributing the funds would be a way to appease the LORD and also want God to be merciful to me and my late friends and also accept our souls,because we have killed so many in the war, but we where only serving our country.

I have decided to give this sum 0f $6.500,000 Million USD to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I do on earth.

I will want you to help me collect this consignment and dispatched it to charity organizations like i have said earlier.

I have set aside 30% for you and your time, 20% should be use by you to settle any expenses that you might have incured in the cause of your making the claims for this consignment.

The most important thing is that can I TRUST you Once the funds get to you?, and also would you distribute the rest 50% to charity organizations, Your own part of this deal is to contact the DIPLOMAT on how the consignment can be released and sent down to your home address and also find a safe place where the funds can be kept.

If you are interested I will furnish you with more details.

But the whole process is simple and we must keep a low profile at all times because if the authorities are aware of this funds, it would be seized and used for purchasing ammunitions and irrelevant accessories,whereby we have so many sick, homeless kids dying with hunger.

I am awaiting your urgent response on my private email address: james@sergentclayton.dom-reg.com

IN GOD WE TRUST!!!!

Regards.

SGT .JAMES CLAYTON

The ultimate blizzard

This is my ninth winter in Boston. I should consider myself a seasoned veteran of the cold, snowy months of December to February. I even drove a car to work through the last winter, and thought I had seen just about everything that a New England winter could throw at me.

Boy, was I wrong! Rewind to Thursday, the 13th of December, 2007. Actually, the events are so clear in my mind that I do not even need to rewind.

The forecast had heavy snow from the early evening, late into the night. But so what? The state had seen such snowfall before. They would be prepared. The snow plows would be out in readiness with their salt and sand. All should be well. A bit inconvenient, for sure, but not a big deal.

I set out at 1:45 PM to drop a couple of people off some 10 miles away. No back roads. Just Route 9 all the way, a major arterial. The snow was falling hard; One to two inches an hour, they said. Fine. We were moving along at 20 mph or thereabouts. I got to the destination in an hour and a half.

Annoying, but expected.

Then, I turned the car around. And got back home past 8:30 at night! A mind-numbing 2 mph speed average over a distance of just 20 miles in total! We sat on the road, 20 to 30 minutes at a time without an inch of movement. Two lanes of gridlock, apparently extending a whopping 40-odd miles all the way into the city of Boston.

I shoveled snow off the car at least 5 times during this ordeal, sitting on the "fast" lane of Route 9 all along. I bantered with fellow gridlockers. I cleaned the wiper blades of ice. I listened to the radio. I called friends and family.

And I checked the state of my fuel tank.

The level was dropping visibly, but I was not concerned yet. My cell phone on the other hand, was discharging quickly! Down to the last two bars of power. What would I do if it ran out completely?

I used the phone less. I started killing the engine too. I heard that people were indeed running out of gas and getting stranded in the middle of this serpentine parking lot. Help wouldn't get to them for hours! And we were all stuck behind them.

I cannot believe the state's incompetence. They have seen such snow before. It was also expected, and not out of the blue. Yet, they could not keep one lane moving even at 5 mph! Instead of preparing to plow and salt the streets first, the government asked all employees to head home immediately at about 2:00 PM. The 5:00 PM rush hour was thus advanced to 2:00 PM, and the roads were in no shape to handle it.

The next day, Governor Deval Patrick announced faith in his government's response, and blamed the mess on people who did not leave their workplaces until well after 5:00! We can only imagine what would have happened if even more cars were out around 2:00 PM that day! Actually, people who left after 6:00 PM reached home in an hour or thereabouts.

I am happy that my tax dollars are being used well. Maybe I should trade in my hybrid car for a snow plow! The miles per gallon reading that day would have been comparable to that of the plow.

To kill a mocking mouse

Here is my latest rant against Microsoft: they cannot make their own hardware talk to their own software! The case in point: the Microsoft Comfort Optical Mouse 3000.

I got one of these at work several months ago to replace an archaic ball-mouse that Dell surprisingly shipped with their dual-core desktop in this modern optical age. Microsoft mouse. Microsoft Windows XP. Doesn't get more compatible that this, right?

Wrong, but of course.

Everything was hunky-dory for a while. Then, all the windows fell apart (pardon the pun!). It started with Windows disowning the mouse. But in these early stages of the disease, the mouse would be recognized almost immediately.

"Ka-plink, Ka-plink" would go the speakers. Once for un-recognizing the mouse, and once for recognizing it again. Both in the span of less than a second. I did not give it a second thought.

And then there was only one "ka-plink". You can guess which of the two operations was being performed. The mouse had been surgically removed, and the device went dead. A balloon window helpfully asked me to click for more info. What irony! The only solution: unplug the mouse and reattach. But then, that "helpful" balloon went away too, and I could not figure out the cause.

Some Gooling revealed a plethora of potential issues, most requiring the creation of a recovery point in the operating system, accompanied by much fiddling with the dreaded Registry. I decided to wait and watch.

Eventually, the pointing device simply became so sluggish that a hard reboot was the only way out. This was getting too annoying now. I tried with another device of the same make and model, with similar results. I tried different USB ports. No luck.

A colleague then suggested that I install the original IntelliPointer drivers. The CD proudly proclaimed: "Do not plug in the device until you have installed these drivers." Great! How do I navigate the install program's menus, without the mouse plugged in?

Throwing caution to the wind, I plugged in the mouse and installed the driver. I then tried to download the updated driver from Microsoft's website, and was shunted about endlessly. Apparently, their driver download page works only with IE 6 or higher. Poor me, I had FireFox!

I eventually stumbled upon a page that condescended to work with FireFox, and I got version 6.1. In a few days, I should know if this was all in aid of something.

Santa, are you listening?!

The mother of all checklists

I stumbled upon this gem of a checklist that was handed to me "way back" in 1999, when I was about to embark on my first trip to the US. Things to do (and not do!) before you leave Indian shores towards life as a grad student in America. Good for a few laughs today!

Warning: this is fairly long, so ensure that you have enough free time!

Caution: Most (if not all) info is likely to be severely outdated!

Things to do After Getting Aid
-----------------------------------------

1) Collect "No Dues" from:

a) Hostel

b) Department

c) Central Library

d) Hospi

e) CC

2) Application for "Provisional Certificate" :

Submit a copy of 1)a, 1)b, 1)c (show original)

Surrender your ID card at the 4th floor of AD Block & fill the appropriate form.

JAI - Better get a PC even if u don't need it. Some of the forms u submit to get the PC are essential for u to get a degree on convo day.

3) "Caution Deposit" refund application :

Submit a copy of 1)a, 1)b, 1)c

Give a letter asking for refund

Stick & sign on a 20p Revenue stamp (on the appropriate form)

At the 1st floor of AD Block.

4) Apply for the "complete" Transcript (actually to be done after Convo)

JAI - U need transcripts for applying for internship, jobs, other univs. Maybe you should take 20 of them.

5) Inform all concerned of your permanent address :

(Hostel office, department, Post Office, AD Block, friends ...)

JAI - Give your permanent address to your Room son. Leave an authorization letter addressed to the post master with ur parents.

6) Close your Bank A/c

7) Return all borrowed material & take back all things that you lent out.

8) Get your International Driver's Permit

JAI - Helps to rent cars in US. Also learn driving. :-)

(Form from the USEFI - "Documents Required to Apply for Student Visa" - get the latest one)

Following materials must be presented to the Consular office by you at the time you apply for VISA

1. Form I-20 or IAP-66 (obtained directly from the University you will attend)

2. VISA application form (available at the consulate)

3. Two passport size photographs

4. A valid passport

5. Evidence of financial support

6. Visa fee

JAI - For visa fee(Demand Draft) take the exact amount. Do not take more/less.

7. TOEFL/GRE original/copies.

8. Take PC even though its not necessary.

If Financial assistance has been awarded by the University, please enclose letter from the University to that effect.

If your sponsor is in India you will need the following documents:

a) RBI Clearance

b) Sponsor's bank account statement showing funds for the 1st year of study covering expenses shown on the I20

c) Affidavit of support on stamped paper and notorized from your sponsor for the entire duration of stay in the US

d) Verification of financial resources by Certified Chartered Accountant

If the sponsor is in the US the following documents must be provided:

a) I-134 (available at INS offices in the US)

b) Bank account statement of your sponsor

c) Salary statement

If the sponsor is outside India & US the following documents have to be submitted:

a) Affidavit of support of your sponsor

b) Bank account statement of your sponsor showing funds for the entire period of study

c) Salary statement

You may apply for the visa within 90 days prior to the reporting date mentioned on the I-20. Thus if the reporting date shown on the form I-20 is September 5, you may apply for your visa between June 5 and September 5.

JAI - Note: 90 days is not equal to 3 months & it should be june 7 in e.g above.

The Visa office is open from 8:30 to 11 a.m. Monday through Friday. No prior appointment is necessary to apply for a visa. If you need additional information please call the Visa section at 473040 between 2 and 4 pm on weekdays.

JAI - I am not sure if the above paragraph is up-to-date. Anyway, no point going the night before. Go at around 6:a.m or 7: a.m. Take breakfast+water.

Starting off from the point you get an aid, the steps to be taken are listed below.

o Send your acceptance letter by three modes - FAX, phone, letter

JAI - Some paranoid fellow has written this letter. Confirm by e-mail & send an official confirmation by snail mail or fax.

// 92 - e-mail ?

o If you are going to an arb. Univ renew your app.s to other Univs

o Bump any jobs you may have got

JAI - Highly recommended.

* Travel Booking & Tips
---------------------

The next thing to do is blocking tickets (this implies no financial commitment). This can be done via travel agents. Make sure the Travel Agent is good (examples of dependable travel agents are - Travel Corporation of India (TCI), Parrys Travels).

// 92 - All India Travel Agency (AITA) - Parsn Complex

Block flights with many airlines/agencies. Put pressure on the agencies and get as much info as possible. Much before the flight call the airlines themselves and confirm your ticket.

// 92 - Indicate whether you want Asian Vegetarian Meal (AVM), non-smoking section, etc

o Cross-check everything the travel agent says

o Some airlines offer Frequent Flier programs (e.g. Air France, TWA) [i.e. after a certain # of miles of flying with that airline you get a free ticket]. Enroll in such programs.

// 92 - Delta, British Airways ?

o Avoid change of airline. A direct flight is the best. If change of airline can't be avoided, leave at least 4-6 hrs gap between the scheduled arrival of one flight and the scheduled departure of the connecting flight.

o Baggage is usually safe with a single airline - change of airline sometimes leads to misplaced luggage. Some airlines don't take care of baggage transfer - you may have to personally carry it (check this while booking)

o Do not trust an Indian Airlines connecting flight (in case you use IA allow atleast a day)

JAI - Author refers to previous author. I appreciate the patriotism of this paranoid author.

* Getting the Visa :
-----------------

For students with full financial aid this is no problem at all. Even then these tips will make it all the more peaceful.

o When you go for the visa dress decently. Avoid any Americanisms. A touch of Indianism helps a lot (e.g. a streak of "Vibuthi" on the forehead). Speak slowly and clearly. Don't appear tense and don't look desperate. Showing self-confidence helps.

o Go along with a friend having a vehicle (just in case you have to go & get something)

o They should never feel that you will have any sort of difficulty - language, finance, racial, religious, etc.

o You should be able to convince them that you will come back to India. If they ask you, points in favor are :

a) only child,

b) immovable property in India (can take a proof document),

c) orthodox family,

d) brought up in rural atmosphere,

e) lots of relatives in India; none abroad,

f) mom, dad won't come to USA,

g) field of interest not available in India,

h) change of field not possible in India,

i) interest in teaching - get PhD fast.

JAI - Even a dumbo at the consulate knows that 99.99% desis don't return, esp IITians. Anyway, a lie is no longer a lie if the other person knows it is a lie.

Actually all this won't be required - just in case they decide to have an interview with you these tips will come in handy.

o Suggested ideal timings for getting the visa :

to apply - 9:45 to 10:00 A.M.

to collect - 4:45 to 5:00 P.M.

o Do not go at 5:00 A.M. in the morning & wait

o Avoid Mondays and Fridays, Wednesdays are preferable

JAI - Author assumes that all out-of-station people prefer mondays & fridays b'cos of wekend. But, most of them get a copy of this mail from one of their friends at IIT.

o Go sometime before and get the form for this (you can take the filled form)

o Things to be taken with you when you go for the visa

a) signed I-20 form

b) filled visa application form

c) two passport size photos (take some glue)

d) passport

e) admission & aid letters

f) TOEFL & GRE scores (original + photocopy)

g) Xerox copy of grade cards

* Emigration Clearance
--------------------

o Get this after the visa

o You can get this from a venue other than the place of issue of the passport - by showing that your place of residence falls in the jurisdiction of that passport office (It might take some time, and pain)

// 92 - Anything to do with the Passport Office can & usually will involve a LOT of time & pain

JAI - Its a day's work. ECNR form is available at passport office. Travel agents usually don't have the ECNR form.

o In Madras, the passport office is located on the II Floor, Shastri Bhavan, Haddows Rd

o Take the following things with you -

a) Passport

b) ECNR (Emigration Clearance Not Required) form - get it from your travel agent, avoid queue at passport office

c) Original of the Provisional Certificate (PC) - to show

d) Xerox copy of the PC

o Procedure in brief :

At one counter show the filled form & get a slip; go inside and show your documents at the checking counter; pay Rs.20 at the cash counter; collect passport next day with ECNR stamp.

JAI - Collect passport the same day....

o Suggested timings :

I day 11:00 to 11:15 A.M. (submit)

II day 4:50 to 5:00 P.M. (collect)

* Getting permit for $750
-----------------------

This can be got from any bank authorised to do so (need not go to RBI for this). You can get this within a month of the date of the flight. The following documents have to be taken along to get the permit :

Passport + copy, air ticket, I-20 stident copy + copy, grade cards + copies, PC + copy, XII std pass/mark sheet + copy, aid & admission letters + copies, bank advance/ any other form of payment.

You may take part of the $750 in currency notes - upto $50 is okay (legally upto $100 allowed)

JAI - Present limit is 1500 bucks total and maybe 500 bucks in currency...Tc's are always safer. Don't take one TC. Split, say 1000 bucks, as 500+4*100+2*50.

* Things to be done in advance
----------------------------

Certain things have to be done in advance, i.e., as soon as you get your aid - much before the flight.

o Learn typing

JAI - ????????????????? I am comfortable with my single finger typing capabilities. Learn typing if u r jobless enuf.

o Learn driving

o Learn to cook

JAI - Don't learn the iitian way of one day before leaving. Put some effort & practice for maybe a week. Amru food sucks.

o apply for bank loan (if necessary)

JAI - Enquire from the bank (canara, SBI, Indian) by may end & apply by june. The red tape takes a month for loan approval. No security reqd for loans less than 1 lakh. U might need to take an LIC policy for the loan amt. Also banks give only 75% of what u apply for. U need bills/invoices to claim a refund from the bank. All travel agents give bogus invoices if u r bent upon doing goodals.

o make your passport valid for 6 months more than your stay indicated in your I-20

// 92 - make sure your passport is valid for 6 months atleast. All other changes are best made in the U.S.

o make outstation purchases (sweater, thermal underwear, cassettes, etc. - available/cheap in Delhi, Bombay ...)

o get medical checkup done

a) dental

b) fresh checkup, especially if you have a major ailment

Get prescriptions & medicines for all common ailments (the technical name of the medicine along with Indian/US brand name).

See Appendix I.

c) get your eye-sight checked - get a new prescription. Buy atleast one extra pair of glasses.

JAI - paranoid fellows can buy 2 extra pairs.

d) get tested for TB if possible (chest X-ray) - else they will do it at the Univ

JAI - Do a PPD Mantoux test. If negative no need for chest X-ray. Take vaccination for MMR. Its a 2 dose vaccine to be taken at an interval of one month from the 1st to 2nd. If u don't take it in desh its going to cost a lot in US. Also take tetanus. Paranoid characters can take Rabies, yellow fever, malaria, hepatits A,B,C..Z vaccines :-)

o get cassettes recorded which you may like to take with you

JAI - Lots of them. No point taking western music casettes. C.D's are cheap in the US. So stick to carnatic & light music.

o write to the India club/OIPS giving your flight #, time & date of arrival; they may pick you up & give temporary accommodation if necessary

o if you are very interested in any Indian magazine (Gult, Tamil, etc.) subscribe to them - you can subscribe to them after going to the US also.

JAI - Not necessary, since most of them, like Kumudam, Vikatan are available on the net. I don't know abt gult magazines.

o note your/parent's bank A/c #

JAI - There might be some point in opening a joint account with your dad/mom/girlfriend. I am not sure how useful it would be. U can do it for the heck of it.

* Packing
-------

o Start your packing well in advance

o Buy two good boxes - they should be able to withstand a lot of mishandling. They should be as large as possible within the size limitations (however most airlines are not very strict about baggage size). Put identification marks and labels both inside & outside the boxes (apart from this the airlines will also provide you with adhesive labels). Boxes with independent top & bottom are preferable.

o Box specifications

As an example the Air India economy class baggage specifications to the USA are given below. Note the specs. may be different for other countries/airlines.

2 pieces of baggage with total linear dimension (l+b+h) not exceeding 270cm (106"). Moreover the total linear dimension of each piece should not be over 158cm (62"). The weight of each bag should not exceed 32kg (70lb) [note: they are not particular about this]

Carry on baggage : In addition you can carry a bag with linear dimension not exceeding 115cm (45") onboard (fits beneath the seat).

For most other airlines the baggage spec.s are similar (confirm)

If you are taking a break outside USA/Canada contact your travel agent or airlines for details.

JAI - The baggage sizes are almost standardized. Be careful about the weight of your baggage. No problems if you are not taking a connecting flight inside US. Desh airport guys usually don't crib. Not the same with amru airportwallahs.

* Things to be kept in the boxes
------------------------------

o Copy of all certificates/documents (originals in hand baggage)

o Important apping materials (SOP, reco etc)

o necessary books/notebooks (some suggested books are - Clark's Tables, a good dictionary/thesaurus, a booklet for units conversion) [note: there should be no legal hassles taking Xerox copies of books - but don't flaunt them to Americans/Profs]

o Copy of address book/telephone book/diary

o Some stationery and related items suggested (not absolutely necessary - just for the first few weeks) are :common items + rubber stamp with house address + airmail covers + few Indian razor blades for cutting work + screw driver

o Indian postal stamps - for sending letters through someone coming to India

JAI - Not necessary. Take a couple of stamps to offer to prospective numismatists (of the other sex). :-)

o Medical history files

o Gifts (suggested: rollable pictures, handicrafts, etc)

o Non-technical books (fiction/religious). [note: second-hand story books are cheap in the US]

o 1 pair leather chappals, 2 hawai chappals (+ extra straps)

JAI - 1 hawai chappals (maybe extra straps)..

o soap (bath), toothbrushes (slightly costly in the US - 1 or 2 bucks) etc

o Cassettes

* Clothes
-------

Usually clothes are machine washed once a week (laundramat) - hence one week supply of clothes (+ one week backup) is needed. Get all clothes little loose - clothes may shrink in machine wash & you will probably grow fatter.

o 14-15 sets of undergarments, socks, handkerchiefs

JAI - Get some 2-3 pairs of socks. Socks are quite cheap here and available at $5 for a 6pack.

//92 - Not necessary ! Good stuff available here & pretty cheap

o 5 sets of good shirts, pants

JAI - Maybe more if u are lazy & do laundry once in 2 weeks.

o a good swimming trunk + few shorts

o a tie + 1-2 belts

o 3-6 ordinary towels (Turkish ones start stinking)

JAI - 3 should do.

o a bedsheet

JAI - Should say bedcover. Also get a couple of pillow covers.

o lungies/dhotis/pajamas

o thermal underwear (2-4)

JAI - Costs around 10 bucks a set here. one set should do, atmost 2. U can buy it here, since u won't need it till november end.

o extra woollen sweaters

JAI - 1 should do. I prefer sweatshirts over sweaters. Sweatshirts cost around 20 bucks & have fleece coating. Feels warm.

Note:

o sleeveless woollen sweaters are enough for warm places

o woollen socks not recommended if not going to a cold place

JAI - Not recommended even in a cold place, unless u r going to alaska university.

o second hand alarm clocks are cheap in US

o don't take Indian files (empty) or punching machines - filing system is different in the US (3 holes, A4)

o don't take paper

JAI - U can take a couple of sheets for the initial days.

o don't take raincoats

o don't buy purse (wallet for carrying cards can be bought in US)

JAI - Buy leather wallet from Victoria Institute, somewhere in mountroad. U get cheap & good wallets capable of carrying cards. U can also buy handicrafts here.

o wear your shoes to save space in the box. If needed buy only leather shoes (other types of shoes are cheap in US). For some weather conditions Indian leather shoes may crack.

JAI - Nike/Reebok costs ~40 - Inf bucks. U can get cheap shoes for 20bucks.

// 92 - don't worry yourself if you can't bring any of the stuff listed above - most of them are available pretty cheap in the US (made in China). Exceptions are leather goods, formal wear. In a month or two you will be in a position to get anything you want (unless you are not on aid)

* Food stuffs
-----------

Below are some South Indian food stuffs that may be taken :

o 1 - 2.5 kg packets of "Sambar Podi"

o 1 packet of "Rasam podi"

o 0.5 box of "Masala podi"

o 1 box of "Paruppu podi", "Upma podi", "Vatha-kozhambu podi","tamarind rice podi"

o Appalam/Vadam/pickles

o mustard packet

o tamarind paste

o different dhals in small quantity for initial phase

o asafoetida powder

o Indian instant coffee + Indian tea (takes some time to get used to American stuff)

o Elaichi, clove, cinnamon

Note: most of these items are available in the Indian stores in the major cities. However you need to carry them for use in the first few days.

o actually pickles are not allowed - but you can take them in solder-sealed tins. [students are usually not checked for these]

o take all dry food stuff in sealed plastic packets

// 92 - Most Indian foodstuffs are available even in small cities. Don't come loaded with foodstuffs as you may have (small) problems with the customs. Try to get "instant" stuff as people generally don't have much time for cooking in the US.

JAI - If U r a fan of Maneka bring shikakai powder. Its not avail here. There are some (very few) shampoos available that r not tested on animals.

* Vessels
-------

o big pressure pan (with spare handle, 3 safety valves, 2 weights, 1 base plate, 3 gaskets) [note: big pressure cooker may not be needed as rice cooker can be bought in the US]

JAI - I think i got a 5/6 liter pressure cooker.

o idli plates

o dosai turner, charani (server with holes), rice server & other servers

o tongs

o small bowls ("kinnum")

o rolling pin

o knife

o kadaie (optional)

JAI - Costs some 20 bucks for a nonstick huge kadai. Bring stainless steel vessels of varying sizes, for rasam, sambar,... & lids for each of them +karandis. SS karandis r not availble here. Also SS spoons. U might get some micro containers for ghee/oil, sugar, spices....

o cook book - e.g. "Cook & See" by Meenakshi Ammal

Note: no other vessels needed. No tumblers needed. Try to share & bring the vessels with others coming to your Univ. Non-stick kitchenware is cheap in the US. and you can buy a full set.

* Things to be kept in Hand Baggage
---------------------------------

o some medicines (including for air-sickness)

o novel/mags/books for inflight reading

o sweater

o original important documents (I-20, visa, tickets ...)

o enough money (little cash, travellers' checks)

o address book/phone book (Indian & US)

o copies of your photo (passport size)

o enlisted steps to be followed in case of emergency (accident,theft, etc)

o things to survive for a week in case luggage gets misplaced (two sets of clothes, valuables like calci, addresses etc)

* Things to be kept on person
---------------------------

o shorter extract of contact addresses - especially of people coming to pick you up.

o receipt got along with travellers' checks - in case you lose the TC's

JAI - *** Some food/water, incase the flight crashes & u need to survive till rescue team arrives.

* Things to be left at home
-------------------------

o List of addresses/phone numbers at which info about you can be obtained

o one copy of all your important documents

o a copy of all relevant parts of Medical History files

o Arrange to collect/redirect mail from your room/hostel

o Arrange to apply/collect/mail your transcripts (about 20 in number preferable)

o Your tailoring measurements

o a few blank signed papers - so that your parents can be authorized to look after anything on your behalf

JAI - Depends on how much faith U have on your parents :-), since u r going to become rich soon.

* Things to be done in the last week before the flight
----------------------------------------------------

o call up & find if there is any delay or change of schedule of the plane (inform the people coming to pick you up of any such change)

o rest well - ready to face the long journey/jet lag

o bid bye to all concerned

JAI -Esp, Your girlfriend(s).

* On the day of the flight * in-flight + later
--------------------------------------------

o since it is going to be a long flight wear something comfortable (cotton dress + full hand shirt). Wear your shoes - inflight you can remove them (some airlines give inflight shoes - else relax in socks)

o be at the airport 3-4 hours before flight departure

o collect $20 at the airport (part of it in $1)

JAI - If you get Forex from banks u'll get only 100$ & 50 $ bills. You better get smaller denominations from *&&% agency at Spencer plaza. This place is in the ground floor. Enter spencer plaza & this agency is on the left hand side.

o relax during flight, sleep as much as possible

o for vegetarians - watch out before you eat - you may get non-veg even if you had asked for veg. Veg. food is generally bland - fruits/juice are good choices. (Before ordering anything on board check if you have to pay for it separately for it). Don't hesitate to ask questions.

o once out of India be very careful (from sheer experience of seniors). Don't trust anyone. Don't hire a taxi (unless emergency) till you reach your destination. If required don't hesitate to spend money.

// 92 - Don't hesitate to talk to people to ask questions - usually they will answer all your queries properly - very different from India.

* Port of entry procedures
------------------------

o sometime before landing the flight attendant will distribute customs declaration forms & immigration forms as mentioned below. Fill these out on the plane (you will submit them to the appropriate authorities when you land). Do not hesitate to take the flight attendant's help.

// 92 - You can indicate that you have nothing to declare & total value of all your things is less than $100 on the customs form

Form I-94 - fill in the plane. After seeing your documents immigration officer will indicate length of stay, Univ, etc. This will be attached to your passport. Important: note the expiry date and D/S (duration of status).

Form I-20 ID copy - all transactions regarding your non-immigrant status will be recorded in this form. This should be retained at all times (not surrendered when you temporarily leave the US). Your admission number will be given - memorize it & note it elsewhere.

o just before you land the correct local time will be announced - set your watch [dual time watch will come in handy here]

JAI - Forget the concept of dual time watches. Its pointless...

o once you are out of the plane go straight to the immigration counter - rush for them to beat the queue. It might take 0.5-1 hour here. Keep your I-20, passport, admission & aid letters ready. They might ask a few questions like - is this your first time in the US ? Student ? F-1 visa ? Which Univ ? They will attach an I-64 card to your visa.

JAI - Remember to give both the official copy & student copy of I-20. Don't forget to collect the sealed student copy.

You are now in the USA !

JAI - Obly, unless u land at siberia.

o then go to the baggage are to fetch your luggage. Pick up a cart (you get this at a machine for $1) to carry the bags. Then pick up your bags as they come out on the conveyor (suitable eye-catching labels help here). If you don't get your baggage inform the enquiry section - you may have to wait 0.5-1 hour here.

o cart your baggage to nearby Customs. If asked tell them that you are a student, F-1 visa, school, dept., coming to US for the first time

If asked to open the baggage do so slowly - do not mess up the place. If asked about the "podi"s tell them that they are "dried Indian spices" to make traditional Indian food like curry. Rarely they might ask you to go to the agris. dept. nearby - that is a pain. If asked about "vibuthi" tell them that it is holy Hindu powder used for prayer.

Note : In most cases you will NOT be asked to open your boxes at all & will be simply waved through.

o now go & wait at the nearest exit for the guys who are supposed to pick you up. If nobody turns up after some time (say 0.5 hour) make a collect call (at the public phone dial a '0', get the operator & ask for a collect call). Else call i) your Prof ii) dept. iii)International Students' Office iv) admissions office v) any Indian guy in the directory

Go & ask for an announcement to be made over the PA system.

Get a card, write your name & hold it up.

JAI - US consulate holds some info sessions. It costs Rs. 100 or so. Attend it. U get some crap info & good food. AT & T gives a free calling card worth 6 minutes of international calls/ 25 minutes of long distance calls. Comes handy.

o Never leave your baggage unattended. Don't go out of the airport until somebody comes & picks you up. If you have doubts about the guy who comes to pick you up, don't hesitate to ask for his ID. [All this is of course being a little extra cautious]

o Once you reach your friend's house (or other destination) call home & inform them of reaching safely. Keep a readymade card - add a few lines - go to the nearest post office, get stamps & mail the card immediately.

JAI - Forget this idea of readymade postcards. It will take you atleast a week to figure out where the nearby post office is.

* A few things of importance in after(arrival)life
------------------------------------------------

o Your first work is to meet the Foreign Students' Advisor in the International Student Office (ISO). They keep a record of you (passport, visa details etc). When you leave the US (temporarily or permanently) you have to go there again.

Then do the things which you did when you entered IITM:

- get your Univ ID card

- get your Driver's Licence

- tax forms, etc some paperwork in the dept.

- meet the HOD/grad. student advisor/advisor

- register for classes

Be happy now that your dream has come true !

JAI -Hee Hee haw...

* List of medicines recommended by a Doc.
---------------------------------------

o Crocin tablets - 3 strips

For fever, bodyaches, headache

One tablet three times a day as necessary

o Erythrocin 500mg tablets - 2 strips

One tablet twice a day when necessary, as advised

o Sporadix 500mg capsules - 2 strips

One capsule twice a day when necessary, as advised

o Actified tablets - 3 strips

Cosovil tablets - 2 strips

For common cold & cough.

One tablet three times a day.

o Avomin tablets - 1 strip

For air sickness.

One tablet as necessary.

o Lomotil tablets - 20

Digene tablets - 30

For diarrhoea & stomach discomfort.

One tablet of each three times a day.

o Baralgam tablets - 2 strips

For abdominal colic pain, backache, etc

One tablet every six hours as necessary.

o Dorstal (?) tablets - 10

For nausea & vomiting.

One tablet three times a day.

o Electral powder - 2 packets

One teaspoonful mixed with drinks to make up loss of electrolytes after vomiting or diarrhoea.

o Novalgin tablets - 2 strips

For headache & bodyaches.

One tablet as necessary.

o Stomatil tablets - 1 strip

For vertigo (giddiness)

One tablet three times a day as necessary till relieved.

o Isogel (Glaxo) - 1 box

For constipation.

One teaspoonful in a little of water at bedtime.

o Brufen 600mg tablets - 2 strips

For arthritic joint pains.

One tablet three times a day after food.

o Avil tablets - 1 strip

For allergy.

One tablet as necessary.

o Sepmax tablets - 1 strip

For sore-throat.

One tablet twice a day after food, till relieved. NOT TO BE

TAKEN WHEN ONE IS ALLERGIC TO SULFA DRUGS.

o Relaxyl ointment - 1 tube

To be applied as a pain balm.

o Band Aids assorted - 12

o Soframycin skin ointment - 1 tube

// 92 - the above list seems to have been made out for a guy who is a proper hypochondriac ! True that medicines are relatively very expensive in the US, but you will also tend to fall ill less frequently (clean drinking water, etc). Get all the medicines prescribed above if you must, but atleast get them in much smaller quantities.

JAI - If you have the enthu browse thru the web pages of the dept@univ & decide the likely courses u r going to take & buy the corresponding books. Books are damn costly in US. 80-100 bucks. Alternately contact seniors in same univ/field & find out abt the books u need to take. U can get a xerox of Latex manual. No need to get dictionary.

A new low for CNN

'Someone's swiping toilet paper', screams the CNN.com headline in the 'Latest News' section today. Even at first glance, this looks trashier than the lowest form of journalism one can imagine. Having a few minutes to kill in the torpor of a muggy afternoon, my computer mouse willingly swallowed the cheesy bait. After all, I needed something to write about :-) So here is the piece in all its nine-sentence glory. Even the authorities do not care all that much. However, CNN does, so all is well with the world. I can take that nap now.

FOND DU LAC, Wisconsin (AP) -- Someone is either too cheap to buy his own toilet paper or planning a big prank.

Fond du Lac County Executive Allen Buechel said someone has been repeatedly stealing toilet paper from the men's public bathrooms at the Fond du Lac City County Government Center since June.

Buechel suspects the person comes in once or twice a week around midday and gets about six rolls a week from dispensers. Some rolls weren't even full, he said.

The thefts haven't been a big loss.

"We don't buy the best toilet paper," Buechel said.

He expects the thief to get caught. "Someone is going to walk in on him when he's doing it and we'll catch him," he said.

Courthouse officials are on the lookout for suspicious activity.

County sheriff Capt. Dean Will didn't return a call for comment Friday.

Six sixes

Indian cricketer Yuvraj Singh recently thrashed England's Stuart Broad for six huge sixes in a single over. This got me thinking about the three previous such instances.

Perhaps the most famous is the effort by Sir Gary Sobers of West Indies in an English county game in 1968. While almost everyone knows about this episode, few are aware of the circumstances. I fell in this category as well, so I did some digging. Taking nothing away from Sobers, the fact remains that (a) the bowler was Malcolm Nash, a fast-bowler who was experimenting with spin that day, (b) the ground was rather small, and (c) Sobers hit everything to the leg side.

Ravi Shastri of India then replicated the feat in a Ranji domestic game in 1985, hitting the Baroda left-arm spinner Tilak Raj out of the park six consecutive times.

Herschelle Gibbs of South Africa thrashed the hapless Daan van Bunge of the Netherlands during the recent 2007 World Cup. Clueless opposition, and a batsman well-known for the big hitting.

Yuvraj's feat, however, came against a decent team and an international fast bowler with some experience. He also hit the ball all over the park, on both sides of the wicket. Just a few thoughts to keep the mind occupied...

Hard-working CNN

I salute CNN and its reporters for working hard to bring me the latest top stories in the country. Sometimes, these stories are even tops on the world stage. This day, in honor of CNN, I will present the leading headlines of global importance, as they are put up on the website:

1. Air guitarists battle for glory
2. Laura Bush to undergo neck surgery
3. Expert analyzes bin Laden's body language
4. Hilton fumes over 'hot' cards (more Paris Hilton nonsense)
5. Chihuahua adopts baby squirrels
6. 'Brokeback', "Office' stars entering splitsville (America's love affair with celebrity divorces)

Where would I be if I remained unaware of these earth-shaking developments? Kudos to CNN for putting them above the real issues plaguing this world.

Kathmandu, anyone?

Bring a couple of goats along. Just for luck. Or just in case!

[From BBC News]

Goats sacrificed to fix Nepal jet

Nepal's state-run airline has confirmed that it sacrificed two goats to appease a Hindu god, following technical problems with one of its aircraft.

Nepal Airlines said the animals were slaughtered in front of the plane - a Boeing 757 - at Kathmandu airport.

The offering was made to Akash Bhairab, the Hindu god of sky protection, whose symbol is seen on the company's planes.

The airline said that after Sunday's ceremony the plane successfully completed a flight to Hong Kong.

"The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights," senior airline official Raju KC was quoted as saying by Reuters.

Nepal Airlines has two Boeing aircraft in its fleet.

The persistent faults with one of the planes had led to the postponement of a number of flights in recent weeks.

The company has not said what the problem was, but reports in local media have blamed an electrical fault.

Courting fashion (part 2)

So, here I was, complaining about the Williams sisters not giving credit to their opponents (see previous post, Courting fashion). Even as I was typing, Serena's lips were moving:

From Williams’s perspective, she beat herself. “I think she made a lot of lucky shots and I made a lot of errors,” Williams, the eighth seed, said sourly during her postmatch news conference. [New York Times]

I saw the match in its entirety. The truth is that Serena was almost never in control during the encounter. In fact, Justine was serving for the first set when the score was just 5-3, and the match could have been a lot shorter if she could have held serve. The second set, in which Serena was blown away at 6-1, showed just how much Serena lacks on the court: muscle cannot always overcome consistent strategy and execution.

But yes, the world is indeed a simple place. At least, it makes it easy to predict the Williams' press conferences.

Courting fashion

There was a time, not too long ago, when the ladies tennis circuit was populated by graceful players. And then, in the blink of an eye, the scene was quickly altered so that the court became some sort of fashion parade. Gone are the days of pure white; today, many players seem to employ stylists rather than coaches to prep them for their games. One of them, this year's defending champion at the US Open, inserts real gold into her shoes (I am told)! The glitter couldn't save her though, as she was handed an early exit ticket.

Last night at the US Open was quite a study in contrasts. Justine Henin, thin as a rail, dressed in relatively sober attire. Her opponent, Serena Williams, sported elaborate hair plaits, shoulder-length glitter swinging from her ears, and a long chain to match. The focus of one was solely on the tennis. The other seemed to go to pieces in the span of just a few games, trying to muscle her way out against a player who had a lot more than just power. Thankfully, the tennis won out, and Serena now has all the time in the world to devote to her new fashion apparel label.

When the Williams sisters arrived on the scene, they just blew the rest away with their focus on raw power. Games were unbelievably short (and perhaps a tad ugly, even). But the field seems to have adjusted beautifully to match that power. Grace and strategy to the fore again! And no more sobbing Mr. Williams, scared of attending a Grand Slam lest he has to see one of his daughters lose to the other. The Williams sisters, of course, never learn. They continue to be sore losers, always crediting their own injuries/fitness/errors rather than a superior opponent.

But for now, all seems to be well. Let the games continue!

Tennis 101: think baseball!

I am appalled by the television commentary at the on-going US Open championship. And I am thinking 'tennis', not 'golf'! The commentators are so used to baseball that they are routinely running with terms borrowed from that 'sport'.

In slightly over a single set between Roddick and Berdych, my
ears were subjected to the following gems:

1. Scouting reports
2. Change-ups
3. Checked swing
4. He is oh-for-two out there

The glut of baseball-speak would doubtless have continued, but for Berdych giving up and retiring quickly in the second set. A small mercy! Maybe he heard the TV feed and gave up in disgust.